Any soldier or Marine who came into the hospital got the same special treatment from her. She would walk the hallways with her clipboard in hand making sure her boys got to see the specialist they needed.

If they didn’t, watch out. Her boys weren’t Medal of Honor recipients or movie stars like Audie, but that didn’t matter to Pam. They had served their country. That was good enough for her. She never called a veteran by his first name. It was always “Mister..” Respect came with the job.

“Nobody could cut through VA red tape faster than Mrs. Murphy,” said veteran Stephen Sherman, speaking for thousands of veterans she befriended over the years. “Many times I watched her march a veteran who had been waiting more than an hour right into the doctor’s office. She was even reprimanded a few times, but it didn’t matter to Mrs. Murphy. “Only her boys mattered. She was our angel.”

Audie Murphy died broke in a plane crash in 1971, squandering millions of dollars on gambling, bad investments, and yes, other women. “Even with the adultery and desertion at the end, he always remained my hero,” Pam told me.

She went from a comfortable ranch-style home in Van Nuys where she raised two sons to a small apartment – taking a clerk’s job at the nearby VA to support herself and start paying off her faded movie star husband’s debts. At first, no one knew who she was. Soon, though, word spread throughthe VA that the nice woman with the clipboard was Audie Murphy’s widow. It was like saying General Patton had just walked in the front door. Men with tears in their eyes walked up to her and gave her a hug.
“Thank you,” they said, over and over.

The first couple of years, I think the hugs were more for Audie’s memory as a war hero. The last 30 years, they were for Pam.
One year I asked her to be the focus of a Veteran’s Day column for all the work she had done. Pam just shook her head no.
“Honor them, not me,” she said, pointing to a group of veterans down the hallway. “They’re the ones who deserve it.”
The vets disagreed. Mrs. Murphy deserved the accolades, they said. Incredibly, in 2002, Pam’s job was going to be eliminated in budget cuts. She was considered “excess staff.” “I don’t think helping cut down on veterans’ complaints and showing them the respect they deserve, should be considered excess staff,” she told me. Neither did the veterans. They went ballistic, holding a rally for her outside the VA gates. Pretty soon, word came down from the top of the VA. Pam Murphy was no longer considered “excess staff.”

She remained working full time at the VA until 2007 when she was 87.

“The last time she was here was a couple of years ago for the conference we had for homeless veterans,” said Becky James, coordinator of the VA’s Veterans History Project. Pam wanted to see if there was anything she could do to help some more of her boys. Pam Murphy was 90 when she died last week. What a lady.

Dennis McCarthy, Los Angeles Times on April 15, 2010 ~

Instead of backtracking, we were able to catch a series of highways that took us where we needed to be. The roads were under construction and at times we felt like giving up and turning around. We continued on until the highway became smooth again and started to make better time. We pulled inside the gate at 5:03 pm, just minutes after the 5:00 pm deadline. Fortunately, the gate had not been closed, and we were able to get in and find my grandson. He was happy to see us, and I was even happier to see that although we arrived later than we expected, we had made it inside.

Looking at the directions later that night, I could see that I had been wrong. I totally missed the slight RIGHT that came before the LEFT. Had we gone just 1/3 of a mile right, and THEN made that left, we’d have been right on track. We would have arrived in plenty of time and would have avoided all the stress associated with getting there on time.

I couldn’t help thinking about how this relates to life. We may know our destination, but we have to take the correct roads to get there. We may drive for hundreds of miles, but unless we’re going in the right direction, we’re just getting further from our destination.

Here are the lessons I learned.

1. Know your destination and the exact location.
2. Know how to get there. Have the right directions
3. Pay attention to signs along the way. Are they confirming that you’re going in the right direction?
4. Listen to your gut. If you think you’re off track, pull over and take a minute to check. Smart people ask for direction.
5. If you get turned around, find help. Your trip may be longer, but with help, you can still reach your destination.

Once I realized we were headed in the wrong direction, I felt physically sick. I blamed myself for not catching that slight turn. I was angry with myself for causing stress to my daughter. I worried that after taking the time to drive there, we might not be able to see my grandson at all. I worried at how unhappy he would be if we were unable to get in. I prayed silently that everything would work out. I kept thinking, “If I could just go back to Point A and start all over again, we’d be fine.”

This reminded me of sin. We may become lost simply because we allowed ourselves to take a seemingly insignificant detour. Once we fall off track and start to see the consequences, we wonder how we could have gotten so far from our destination. Our action causes pain not only to ourselves but to those who love us. When we get to the point we feel all is lost, we get on our knees and pray for help. In a state of humility, we are willing to take the steps necessary to get back on the right path. We may have caused God to be unhappy with our behavior, but like every loving parent, He still wants us to live with him.

It’d be great if we didn’t have detours along the way, but fortunately, the road to salvation has been paved for us through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We can be forgiven of our sins. We can redirect our course and get back on the correct path. We may feel we have lost time during the repentance process, but it’s all for our good. As long as you’re on the right path, the time of arrival doesn’t really matter. Heavenly Father will be there to welcome you because His gate is always open.